Not a Sin
by IvoryWhiskers
Summary: He won’t believe it’s wrong because he can smoother the guilt with the fact that he loved him long before her. SLASH! GregoryxChristophe


Disclaimer: Not mine blah blah blah, South Pak c MAtt and Trey

Warning: SLASH! Thats BoyxBoy so if you don't like it then don't read.

A/N: This is a bit of a weird fic but please tell me what you think!

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Gregory knows it's wrong.

He knows but he refuses to perceive it as wrong.

Because he only married because it was the good, Christian thing to do.

And because it's what his parents wanted.

Because they suggested that he propose.

Gregory doesn't want to let them down. He never did. That's why he agreed to propose.

And that's why he never told them.

Because as far as they're concerned homosexuality is a sin.

In the long run it would have been better to be honest though.

Because his feelings haven't changed and each night he spends with him is a reminder of his so called 'sin'.

Because now he's not just got that one 'sin' hanging over his head, now he's committing adultery and lying through his teeth.

Anything to keep everything on the outside looking happy and normal.

He won't believe it's wrong because he can smoother the guilt with the fact that he loved him long before her.

And it's true. He's been there since before Gregory can even remember. And Gregory's loved him since he was about six years old.

Because the way Gregory sees it, love isn't gender specific. Attraction is. We're designed to be attracted to the opposite sex, but to love someone so deeply, more than motherly, more than platonically from such a young age, before the idea of sexual attraction is even known to them makes Gregory wonder what it's actually like to be attracted to someone before they fall for them.

Because most people start on attraction, which over time develops into love. But He and Gregory went backwards. They loved each other long before they knew what is was to be attracted to somebody.

Attraction only kicked in during the later years, when they realized that the brief, closed-mouthed kisses they were so used to sharing wasn't considered normal. It had been cute when they were little, but as they got older it was seen as more and more strange, and so they stopped doing it where there was a chance a parent or anybody else might see.

But they didn't stop altogether because they didn't want to. As far as they were concerned there was nothing wrong with it. They were no longer pre-pubescent by this time and these pecks on the lips were slowly brewing tension between them, a tension that only disappeared when he tilted his head to peck Gregory's lips in parting as usual and Gregory put a hand to the back of his head and refused to let him pull away.

Not that he objected for every long, because he wanted it every bit as much as Gregory.

They weren't so sure what they were doing, but they knew this was even less normal than before. It wasn't something normal friends did, but that didn't stop them, not even when Gregory's mother walked in and saw them.

After he had left Gregory was treated to a talk about 'the birds and bee's' and said that he shouldn't do that because it was wrong. Kisses should be shared with someone you loved.

Gregory told his mother that he loved him but she had shook her head, telling him that she meant a different kind of love and that he had to stop it because kissing another boy wasn't right.

It was then that she explained about homosexuality and how she thought it was wrong.

Gregory had rejected his kisses for a while after that, but soon found that he didn't like doing so. Scared about his mothers talk he sought out a teacher at school and asked her about gays.

The teacher told him something completely different and Gregory went straight around to his after school and kissed him for the first time in two weeks.

Things once again back to normal it wasn't long before they found that these long-lasting, closed mouthed kisses weren't enough.

By this time they both knew all about sex and kissing, and so he introduced Gregory to another kind of kissing which involved their tongues. This was new but not at all unwelcome.

They reasoned that they weren't 'gay', as everyone else would perceive them as, it was just something they'd done since they could remember and although it had progressed beyond a quick peck it was just a sign of how much they cared for each other as friends, and so there was no real reason for them to stop, and they didn't.

They carried on as always. A few girls came and went. Some were turned down while others were treated to the same attention as they gave each other, just to spite the other after a falling out.

They both pretended not to be bothered about the other girls. They couldn't be bothered because they weren't gay, and therefore they weren't supposed to care. Every time one of them asked the other they brushed it off, even though they both were more than aware that they both cared.

They only accepted that it wasn't really acceptable for them to date other people after Gregory's sixteenth. Not that they had so much choice because that night people saw, and by the next day it was all around school.

Gregory's mother had agreed to vacate the house for the majority of the night and leave a small amount of alcohol there for him and his friends.

His friends all brought more and so there was a lot of alcohol and everyone was drunk.

That was one of the contributing factors that led them both to be careless and share a kiss in front of everybody. Nobody seemed to mind that much. The girls liked it and cheered them on and the boys just laughed and wandered off.

The fact that nobody seemed half as bothered as they thought led Gregory to take him upstairs that night, pulling off their clothes as they went.

Nobody had thought they were seriously gay when they kissed. Just a bit of experimentation induced by too much vodka. That idea ended when they saw them heading clumsily upstairs, discarding their clothing.

Still nobody was that bothered. A little shocked maybe but not bothered overall.

A year and a bit later, after a huge fight with him Gregory turned in spite to Annie, a girl in his chemistry class, and they started officially dating.

He was outraged by Gregory's behaviour, but it wasn't very long before he welcomed Gregory back into his bed.

Gregory didn't stop seeing Annie though. She was good cover from his parents who had been getting worried about his lack of interest in girls.

He didn't do half the stuff he did with him with Annie though.

And it's been like that ever since, the only addition being the irritating marriage Gregory felt pressured into.

Gregory knows Annie suspects something's up and it makes him feel guilty. But he ignores it, because he's loved him long before Annie, he reminds himself.

He feels even guiltier every time he sees him. But he pushes that aside as he lets himself be pushed roughly against a wall by him and feels his lips latch onto his own eagerly in greeting.

_Because_, he reasons with his conscience, _I loved Christophe long before_ her.


End file.
